Miyerkules, Mayo 02, 2012

Til death do us part - MY STORY part 3




Tayo na talaga hanggang wakas. 
Chart was everything I could wish for. He is the most responsible, loving, caring and dedicated partner.
When all our emotions subsided, we then talked about the possibilities and other what ifs .. 


We have decided that it is best that he'd be tested as soon as possible.

Since I must go to the hub for further laboratory tests, we opted to have him tested there as well.

We were there monday morning. After a stressful travel and almost getting lost, we finally found the hub.

I was hesitant to enter at first. At first glance, I saw the other POZ. I thought they are also almost at the end of their lifeline.

I looked for Kiara. My counselor texted me that he will have someone to assist me and that I should look for her.

She is so accommodating. She understands the fear, the agony, the hesitation... the ALL..

Later, she confided she is also a POZ. She is an angel to me. The nicest stranger at that point in time.

They told us they cant have Chart tested and that we have to go to their satellite clinic for the rapid test.

But again to our surprise, they made a way for Chart to be tested. Maybe because they know Chart's agony. As if they feel what we feel.

While waiting for my  consultation, Chart's counseling started.

My heartbeat, I swear, felt like an unending bullet from a machine gun.

We went to the sort of prayer room near the laboratory.

Chart was crying... I felt miserable..

I know I could have infected him.. Like the walkers in the walking dead series...

I felt like a zombie.. I felt like it was just right if I just die at that moment of time....

I felt God has cursed me... I felt I belong to hell...

Chart was praying all sorts of prayer.. He is the most religious partner I've had.

When he was over.. We talked... I told him I prayed not for me but for him...

I told him how much I love him.. I told him I am sorry...

He assured me whatever happens he wont leave me...

The result came... We were requested to go to a small room for the post counseling..

Time just stopped... I swear to God!

Chart's blood is REACTIVE...



I cried...
We cried...

The loudest cry Ive cried since I found out I am POZ...

I cried because God again did not grant my request...

I cried because Chart does not deserve this curse....

I cried because I love him...

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