Nanay

The best medicine in the world is a mother's kiss. This is true when I told Nanay about my status... I just cant hide it anymore.. I know we may not have a perfect son-mom relationship but I can tell for sure that she loves me and I love her the most... I wanted it to be a no-big-deal disclosure... Kinda like I just need to protect myself and be healthier, and that everything is gonna be okay, kind of story. I know she will be hurt.. The last thing Id do is to give her another reason to blame my being gay.

We never talked about my sexuality. A day just came when I felt she knew and I started acting gay-er.. 

So it was a friday (if Im not mistaken) I went to her place.. She instantly felt that I was bothered and acting strange.. I told her Im sick.. I am undergoing medication and everything is still okay..  I told her unfortunately there is no cure for my illness..

 I told her I AM HIV+...

She was blank.. for 5 seconds.... she looked at me and started to cry.. She said if I was kidding,.. 

I told her I wish I was.. She hugged me and kissed me.. I started to cry as well.. 

She told me "Kasalanan ko to nak eh.. Kung inalagaan lang kita mabuti.. sana hindi kita pinabayaan.. Sana mas pinaramdam ko sayo na mahal kita.." 

I told her.. "Nay kung ano ako ngayun hindi yun dahil sayo.. Dahil sa mga naging desisyon ko nuon.. "

Nanay gave me strength and courage.. She is more that what ARVs can give.. She is my medicine.. 

She is the one I count on for the things that matters the most.. I feel stronger and braver because I know whatever happens Nanay will love me and take care of me without prejudice and anger... 

When it comes to LOVE, Nanay is the word... 

I love you Nanay.. I love you so much....